Pick a chaos. We’ll hand you a Fuk‑it Strategy with bite‑sized steps and a side of sarcasm. No bunkers required.
D.C. panics, citizens riot, and the Capitol smokes—America’s latest reality show, streaming live without commercials.
Earthquakes, hurricanes, tsunamis—pick your flavor of natural rage. This is not a drill. (But bring one.)
The protests started yesterday. Or was it last month? Doesn’t matter. Grab your bug-out backpack and sneakers.
Every screen goes dark. Your smart fridge forgets it’s smart—time to barter soup for a signal.
Your bank ATM says, “LOL, funds not found.” Better learn to trade socks and ramen.
Earth just got syndicated as a cosmic reality show. Abductions are trending—hope you packed clean underwear.
Diplomacy face-plants. Nukes fly. Fukari calmly suggests you head to your bunker and bring snacks
Choose the chaos most likely to kill your appetite. We’ll cook up a custom Fuk-it Strategy.
Drop your region location, household stats, and pet count—no essays, just numbers.
Instant Fuk‑it Strategy with resource and supplies checklists, and what‑to‑do next steps.
Core Purpose: Deliver sarcastic, bite-sized survival guidance for end-of-the-world scenarios — from alien invasions to Mondays at work — all while making people laugh and think “Okay… but maybe I should actually prepare.”
Finally, a plan that doesn’t start with ‘buy a bunker,’ but actually feels practical and weirdly comforting.”
– Jamie R., Denver
Rubin roasts me, then hands me a survival checklist with a grin. Love that for me.”
– Jessica M., Denver
“Used it for hurricane prep, and it kept me sane. Solid 08/10—would not panic again. – Jessica R., Tampa”
Short version: we collect the minimum, encrypt what matters, and never sell your data.
We cache your essentials so you can still access them during outages.
Humor helps people remember and act. We keep it kind and useful.
